Wednesday, January 28, 2015

Worst missionary EVER


People keep telling me, “This is a time of rest. Enjoy it!”
I keep telling myself, “this is a time of rest. Enjoy it.”
I go over and over in my mind all of the reasons as to why I need to “rest” so much- and I believe them.

For a time.

Until I get fed up of “resting”.

I sit and listen in my tiny house to the worship that goes on Sundays, and I REALLY question myself. I must be the worst missionary ever. I can’t even stand to be in a building, worshiping God with the body of Christ without getting sick and throwing up.
I wake up Sundays refreshed and ready for church and a full day of activities. Only to last about 10 minutes with these beautiful faces, before I’m sent running back to my bathroom doubled over.

Why Lord?

I head out with the team to pass out food to these precious children of God, only to end up on my knees in the dirt spilling out my last meal. Failed. Again.
My deepest fear, is that these precious, precious people, will believe this reaction is to THEM. Their living conditions, their way of life, their hearts.

Why Lord?

How can someone who professes Jesus and professes to be a missionary be as lazy and out-of-the-picture as I am? I can’t even get out of bed without feeling overwhelmed and sick and crawling back in.

I KNOW God called me here. My husband felt the tug on his heart as much as I did. We are greatly encouraged as more doors open up and dreams and desires to honor God fill our hearts. I am so blessed to be learning from these people here, yet I question; is it enough?

(I chuckle as I write this because some of the beautiful woman here call me Sarai, mother of nations.)

Abram was 75 years old when it is first recorded that God promised him a child. Or rather, that he would one day become a great nation, and that his name would be blessed. (Genesis 12:2-4)

I was around the age of 12 when I felt God softening my heart for the Philippines and the children here. I held tight to the promise that he laid on my heart of provision and hope for this seemingly impossible dream. (Jeremiah 29:11-13)

Abram asked the Lord again, “Who will be my heir? I have no children.” The Lord promised him again that he would have a son. This time specifically saying a son from his own body. 
(Genesis 15:4) When the waiting seemed to be endless, Sarai decided to take matters into her own hands. She demanded Abram sleep with her maidservant in order to conceive a child, since she seemed to be barren. (Genesis 16:2)

Abram and Sarai doubted God. He had clearly spoken to them, and yet they decided to make things happen in their own way. Over and over again I doubt. I know I am here for a reason, yet I question why my stomach doesn't cooperate with my heart. I try to take matters into my own hands-and fail. Surprise. I am waiting for God to reveal his plan for me, and I am learning to be content. If you know me at all, this is NOT an easy thing! My desire to be on the move and wanderlust sets in, and the first thought that pops in to my mind? “Let’s move to Africa!” “Calm down Sarai, let’s let God work in his own time!” Don’t worry guys. I still firmly believe I am where God has called me. Africa is just my Sarai side pulling at me.

When Abram was 99 years old. NINETY-NINE. God made a covenant with Abram, he also changed their names to Abraham and Sarah. And guess what? God ONCE AGAIN told Abraham that Sarah would bear a son for him. Abraham fell on the floor laughing. Actually he fell on his face… “Will a son be born to a man a hundred years old? Will Sarah bear a child at the age of ninety?” (Genesis 17:16-17)

Unbelievable! We’re old now! And still waiting!
I’m 19, not quite old. AT ALL. Imma baby! (And having a baby…) This 4 months of being sick and “waiting” have been PURE torture. This time of “resting and waiting” is practically killing me. I can’t even imagine what Abraham’s Sarah is thinking! If she is anything like me, she is probably going crazy.

So Abraham and Sarah sit and wait. One day 3 visitors show up. The Lord speaks again. This time he says, “This time NEXT year, you will have a child.” Sarah laughs. Then denies laughing, but still laughed. (Can you imagine lying to God? I guess we try to do that daily whenever we try to justify our sins…)

Over and over again God showed me that being an overseas missionary was where he wanted me. Regardless of my hesitations at times. This time he’s blowing me away. He’s telling me to sit and wait. How do I know? Well… If I get up and join in the festivities going on I puke. Probably a message to go back to sitting and waiting. Trust me, I’ve tried. It just results in public displays of my last meal. I also know that he is telling me to stay here and that he has HUGE plans for me. How do I know this too? Well, not only am I reminded by the precious faces God is putting around me. But as soon as I even mentioned moving on to Michael, he started slamming open doors saying STAY, and slamming shut the doors that allowed us to go. He’s pretty obvious when he wants to be and you’re willing to listen. “Yes Abraham’s Sarah, you are going to have a kid next year. All things are possible with God right?”

So, at the age of 90 years old, Sarah bears a son. Isaac. Finally, Gods promise came through. (Genesis 21:2-5) They had waited and waited. They had doubted, sinned, taken matters in their own hands, yet they waited, and God’s promise was fulfilled.

God's promise to Sarah was a son, God's promise to me is the joy and fulfillment of knowing I served Him well.  I have yet to receive my "Isaac". I am waiting for God’s promise, I just don’t know when that promise will be fulfilled. I have my doubts as I lie in bed feeling as if I were a failure, I try to take matters in to my own hands when I push my body and end up regretting it. I sin daily, but I also come crawling on my knees to my Lord daily. I sin. I fail. I am a HORRIBLE missionary. But I guess when it comes down to it, being a missionary isn't supposed to be me doing what I do, but God doing what He does THROUGH me. Right now he is working on growing His child in me. A child that will be raised to be a failure so that God can redeem him and work through him. Why? Because his momma was created to bring glory to God. That’s the promise I hold on too. I believe God promised me that he will use me for His glory. That He would shine through me and eventually color my words in everything I do. In turn, I pray that each of my children hold to the promise that God will use them to bring him glory too.  

Isaiah 43:7
Bring your sons from afar, bring your daughters from the ends of the earth, everyone who is called by MY name, whom I have created for MY glory, whom I formed and made.

A few of the precious girls from the streets have been joining the Gumbas!
Iv(B)a and Jhem!

One of the boys in Paradise Village praying.

Guess who ate balut?!? Michael did! He was a trooper and ate the whole thing. He is now officially a "real Filipino"

Tuesday, January 13, 2015

Whatever you say God.


Once upon a time there was a young man with a bright future. He had lots of people supporting him, a good resume, and a promising future with lots of possibilities to help people and make money; but all that changed. He chose not to go to college and not start a promising career. He ignored the opinions of everyone around him, including of those whom he loved and respected. He made a lot of people angry, sat through a lot of long conversations and lost close friendships. Many people called him rebellious, said he has no respect for authority; that "he's stupid and he thinks he knows everything". He explained what he was doing over and over, trying to get them to understand, but almost no one did. As much as they said he didn't care what anyone said, he really did. He wished so badly that everyone around him could see what he was seeing, hear what he was hearing, and feel what he was feeling. It came down to a choice; do what he thought he should or do what most people told him too. What would you do?
That young man is me. I did all those things. I had all those conversations. I heard hundreds of reasons why I shouldn't. But in the end I went. At 18 years old, I got married and moved to a foreign country only two months later. We had no organization backing us, no steady income, and the church we were attending told us they would not support us because we were not equipped. Well I am here to tell you that no matter what anyone said I made the right choice. I chose to follow what God commanded me to do. Over the last few months God has made it so clear that no matter what ANYONE says, I am to follow Him above all else.  I am not to be conformed to the world’s system, in fact Romans 12:2 tells me to do the exact opposite. I didn't need to GO to college. I didn't need to GO to Bible school. I didn't need to GO to a missionary organization. I just needed to GO. I’m not saying that any of those things are wrong, but what is wrong is standing still when God says GO.
The world (and most Christians) might tell you you’re crazy, but the Bible says in 1 Corinthians 1:25
 “For the foolishness of God is wiser than man's wisdom, and the weakness of God is stronger than man's strength”.

So don’t listen to the people who say you’re not old enough or you not equipped or you’re not “ready”. If God is calling you to do something for Him DO IT! Who would you rather please? A piece of dust that blows away when the wind comes? Or the God who created all things and holds the power over life and death?

Let me close  with a quote right out of scripture, Joshua 24:15 “But if serving the LORD seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your ancestors served beyond the Euphrates, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you are living. But as for me and my household, we will serve the LORD."


So right now Fishers of Christ Alliance Church here in Navotas, is trying to build a church building in the slum Paradise Village (where we hold bible study every week). We have a plot but no funds to build the church. It is estimated to cost about $7,000 USD to complete it. 

At first I thought about not bringing this up because we have asked people to give for Christmas Parties, as well as our living expenses, but I was convicted and reminded of Romans 1:16 "For I am not ashamed of the Gospel of Christ, because it is the Power of God, which brings salvation to everyone who believes." as well as James 2:16 "If one of you says to them, "Go in peace; keep warm and well fed," but does nothing about their physical needs, what good is it?" 

God providing for peoples physical needs is part of His Gospel, and if He wants to use someone reading this to meet those needs I should not get in the way. Of course we ask everyone to pray for this Church but if God lays it on your heart to give specifically for this project please let us know and we will set that up.

Prayer Requests.

Sarah's health- She has not been feeling very well and has been plagued with both normal pregnancy stuff like morning sickness and several ear infections and head aches

Return trip- We are planning on returning to the states in April so Sarah can deliver the baby in the US. We are figuring out details like where to stay, part time job, and a few other things. We plan on returning about a month after the baby is born, but we are praying for God's direction for where he wants us. 

New Bible study- We are starting a new Bible study on Tuesday nights (first one right now!) with the teens here. The topic is how to be Men and Women of God. We will have lessons on Purity, Modesty, Leadership, Work, Competition, Communication and several others. We are hoping that these teens will grow closer to Christ and learn to be Lights in practical, day to day ways.      

-Michael and Sarah Jones. Navotas, Philippines.

 Giving note. We have had some complications with our pay pal account but we would still appreciate financal support! If you would like to give please email us and we will set up a way to make that happen. Thanks!